Support for Bereaved Parents - After the Loss of a Child
Author: Kathryn Jarman
Date: 03rd July, 2026
Overview: Kathryn Jarman reflects on her own experience of child bereavement as a parent and the profound impact this can have on siblings and wider family members.
Losing a child to cancer after watching them battle through intensive treatment is beyond devastating. It can bring its own set of trauma-related grief and PTSD for the families involved.
Parents and remaining siblings are faced with learning how to live alongside the void the child used to fill – their past, present and what should have been. It is an experience no one would choose, but one that many families sadly share. You are not alone.
Everyone copes differently and may need different things at different times. As a family, you may all be experiencing grief differently, and that is okay. Grief of this kind can feel like a navigation; a mixed landscape of support that may vary depending on where you live and the circumstances surrounding your bereavement.
As a parent, you may be told about different support services during the initial days and weeks after the loss of your child. Whether you are able to take on board that information at the time is another question. You may find yourself seeking specific support later, when people begin to drift away after the funeral and return to their own lives.
Life may continue to feel like a roller coaster, easing at times, but then a moment, a date, a smell or an item may suddenly tip you over the edge. Your emotions may feel as though they are speeding at 100 mph and you may wonder how you will get through the next hour. With support, some people find those 100 mph moments gradually begin to slow as they develop ways of coping with them.
What does support look like?
Trying to process what has happened and learning how to live with child bereavement can be a complex challenge.
Support may take many forms. Some parents find comfort through family and friends, others through specialist bereavement organisations, counselling, peer support groups, faith communities or online communities of people with similar experiences.
If there are siblings, age-appropriate support may also be important. Some children and young people may benefit from opportunities to meet others who have experienced the loss of a brother or sister, while others may prefer one-to-one support.
For some parents, particularly where there has been traumatic treatment experiences or difficult circumstances surrounding the bereavement, specialist trauma-informed support may be helpful.
As a parent, there may be different things that work for you at different times, but it may help to know that there are options available.
On social media there are many groups focused on child loss and bereavement. They may help you connect with other parents who have experienced a similar loss.
Where can you find support?
Many bereaved parents are so focused on getting through each day that seeking support for themselves can feel overwhelming. Yet reaching out for support can make a significant difference.
Support may come through:
Child bereavement organisations such as Child Bereavement UK, which may offer support for families and siblings.
Hospital bereavement teams and in cases of terminal illness, palliative care services involved in your child's care - and local and national charities supporting affected families such as Young Lives vs Cancer and 2wish.
Explore our UK-wide database of local and national bereavement support services and bereavement support resources to find the help you need.
Attending The Bereavement Journey® support programme online, which may sometimes feel easier than attending an in-person group.
Faith communities.
Peer support groups and online communities of other bereaved parents.
Counselling or listening services.
Many people benefit from practical support. Others may find emotional support, information, specialist trauma support, or simply the reassurance that they are not alone to be helpful. There is no one-size-fits-all approach.
How friends and family can help
Often friends and family want to help, but are unsure how.
Sometimes saying, "Just let me know what I can do to help" unintentionally adds more pressure. It may be helpful to recognise that although a family may not want something at one moment in time, they may want it later.
Some practical ways to help include:
Talking about the child, mentioning their name and sharing memories.
Making and delivering home-cooked food.
Walking the dog.
Helping with childcare, school runs or looking after younger children.
Offering to help with washing or cleaning, while being mindful to ask before touching items related to the child.
Being available and listening if they want to talk, even if what they say is difficult to hear.
If you don't know what to say, being honest. "I don't know what to say, but I can sit with you if you need me" can mean a great deal.
Checking in regularly, not just in the immediate aftermath of the bereavement.
Remembering important dates and anniversaries.
A quick message, a card, or simply letting bereaved parents know that their child is remembered can mean a great deal.
Comment from AtaLoss - Losing an adult child
At AtaLoss, we know that the loss of an adult child is sometimes less recognised by others. People may assume that because your child had grown up, established their own life or had children of their own, the impact on you is somehow less. But for many parents the loss as equally profound. The loss of hopes, memories and the future you shared together are just the same, and the grief may be just as overwhelming.
Parents who have been bereaved following the loss of an adult child may also find themselves supporting grandchildren, a remaining partner or other family members while trying to cope with their own grief. This can make it harder to find space to process what has happened.
It’s common for relationships to be strained, especially between parents, and it’s recommended that each adult reaches out for help. Fathers can often be reluctant to seek help but doing so, whilst hard, is the brave thing to do, and it can help you get through.
The support available to parents after the loss of an adult child is often similar to that available following the loss of a younger child. Bereavement organisations, counselling, peer support groups, faith communities and opportunities to connect with other bereaved parents may all be helpful at different times.
Finding support
There is no right way to grieve and no timetable for grief. If you have been bereaved by the loss of a child, whether your loss was recent or many years ago, it is never too early or too late to reach out for support.
If you or someone you know is grieving and looking for support, Ataloss.org directs to bereavement support services across the UK, as well as a growing library of helpful resources for people who are grieving, whoever is bereaved and whoever has died.
Latest Articles
