Author: Carla Rose-Hardman, Head of Service at Scotty’s, the Military Bereavement Charity
Overview: When someone connected to the Armed Forces dies, bereavement can bring additional challenges around identity, community, mental health, finances, education and navigating support. Carla Rose-Hardman reflects on why understanding these needs matters.
Understanding Military Bereavement
Everyone grieves differently, and the circumstances surrounding a death, the relationship with the person who died and the support around them can all shape someone’s experience.
Military-connected bereavement can come with particular circumstances that can affect how someone experiences grief and what they need afterwards.
Bereavement Can Mean Losing a Community
Military life can create a strong sense of belonging and identity. Families may live alongside other military families, share experiences and build friendships around service life.
When someone dies, that sense of community can change too.
A family may leave military accommodation, lose connections or no longer feel that they belong in the same way. For someone who has never been part of the military community, this particular dimension of bereavement may not be part of their experience.
This loss of community matters because connection can be an important part of rebuilding a sense of belonging after bereavement.
Scotty’s Bereaved Military Community (BMC) Insights Survey 2026, completed by 210 people affected by military-connected bereavement, found that 85% of respondents had felt isolated or alone following bereavement, while 58% felt less connected to the military community. A further 68% wanted more opportunities to meet people with shared experiences.
There Can Be a Practical Side to Military Bereavement
All bereavement can bring practical challenges, but military families often have to navigate pensions, compensation, housing and other military-specific entitlements following a death.
This can be particularly difficult at a time when someone is grieving and usually very little capacity to deal with complex information or unfamiliar systems.
Practical guidance is an important part of bereavement support. Helping someone navigate a pension or understand an entitlement might appear to be an administrative issue, but resolving that uncertainty can remove a significant source of additional stress.
The Impact Can Reach into Education and Employment
Bereavement can affect a person's ability to work, study and plan for the future, whatever the circumstances of the death.
For children and young people, experiencing the death of a parent or loved one can affect education, relationships and aspirations. For adults, bereavement can affect confidence, employment and financial stability.
In the same BMC Insights Survey, 76% of respondents found work or school difficult following bereavement, while 26% needed to find new employment and 17% found their employer or school actively unsupportive.
The aim is not to suggest that bereavement should simply be something people “move on” from. It is about recognising that people continue to have lives, ambitions and futures alongside their grief — and sometimes need support to navigate them.
Grief Can Affect Mental Health
The emotional impact of bereavement is often at the heart of the experience.
For some people though, grief can have a significant impact on their mental health. The circumstances surrounding a death can also bring additional complexity, particularly where a death was traumatic or involved suicide.
As with all bereavement, there is no single experience of military-connected bereavement, and no single timeline for needing support.
Someone may need help immediately after a death. Someone else may cope for years before reaching a point where they are ready to talk about what happened.
Looking at the Whole Person
Grief is only part of someone's experience of bereavement.
For some military families it might mean losing their community or military identity. For others, it might mean navigating unfamiliar entitlements, supporting a child through education, managing changes to employment or finding appropriate mental health support.
And for many people, it will be a combination of several things.
While every bereavement is different, understanding the circumstances around someone’s loss can make a real difference to the support they receive.
Where to Find Support
If you are affected by military-connected bereavement, you do not have to navigate these challenges alone. Staying connected with someone you trust or meeting others with shared experiences can often help. If practical matters feel overwhelming, it can be useful to write down your questions and seek specialist advice.
About Scotty’s
Scotty’s support adults as well as children affected by military-connected bereavement, regardless of their relationship to the person who died or the cause of death. They take a holistic approach, with four programmes – START, SMILES, SUPPORT and STRIDES – designed to respond to different practical, social, emotional and development needs.
Scotty’s is proud to work alongside AtaLoss for Bereavement Matters Season, raising awareness of the many ways bereavement can affect our lives and the importance of finding support. As Remembrance Sunday approaches, we’re jointly reminding anyone affected by bereavement that support is available, whatever their circumstances and however long ago the death occurred.
Find out more about Scotty’s support at www.scottys.org.uk.
If you or someone you know is grieving and looking for support, AtaLoss.org directs to support services for all bereavement circumstances across the UK , as well as a growing library of helpful resources. For specific support following military bereavement, see the services listed under our circumstances of death filter, including the Circumstance of Death - Military Action filter.
Latest Articles
