Grieving Through the Holidays: - Support for Families and Parents
The holiday period can be especially difficult when you're grieving. While others may be planning celebrations, you might be navigating painful reminders of someone who’s no longer here - perhaps for the first time. For families with children, this time can bring added pressure and uncertainty.
Whether your loss is recent or happened some time ago, your grief is valid, and support is available.
1. Holidays and Grief: You’re Not Alone
Grief doesn’t follow a schedule. The holidays can stir up emotions, disrupt routines, and bring up difficult “firsts” without your loved one. If you're feeling sadness, exhaustion, anxiety or even guilt, these are normal responses to loss - especially during a time so focused on togetherness.
There’s no right or wrong way to grieve during the holidays.
Take things one day at a time, and give yourself permission to feel what you need to.
2. Parenting While Grieving
Caring for children while you’re grieving can be overwhelming. Children also experience loss, but they may express it differently from adults - sometimes acting out, becoming quiet, or switching quickly between sadness and play.
Ways to support children:
Talk openly in language they can understand.
Keep routines where possible to offer a sense of stability.
Include them in remembering your loved one - light a candle, share memories, or draw pictures together.
Reassure them that all feelings are okay, including happiness.
Children take their cues from you. Showing your own emotions lets them know it’s okay to feel theirs too.
3. Navigating School Holidays After a Loss
School holidays may feel more intense after a bereavement. With more unstructured time and less distraction, feelings of loss can rise to the surface - for you and your children.
Here are some ideas that might help:
Plan gently: Avoid overloading the calendar. Quiet time can be healing.
Create space for remembrance: Visit a special place, bake a favourite recipe, or look through photos.
Ask for support: Reach out to friends or family who can offer help with childcare or a listening ear.
Let teachers or schools know: They may be able to offer additional support when term resumes.
4. Holidays Away from Home: When It Feels Different
Going on holiday after someone has died can be complex. You might feel guilty, anxious, or unsure whether it’s the right thing to do.
If you're planning a trip:
Acknowledge that it will feel different. This is a new kind of holiday.
Talk together as a family: Let children express any worries or ideas for remembering your loved one while away.
Bring something meaningful: A photo, a journal, or something to honour their memory.
Consider going somewhere different if a familiar place feels too much
Give yourself flexibility: If you feel like you want to do something different, that’s okay. You are allowed to take breaks, both emotionally and physically.
You don’t need to feel pressured to make it special. Surviving the holidays is enough.
5. Honouring Loved Ones During the Holidays
Finding ways to remember can offer comfort and connection, even in sadness. You might:
Light a candle or create a memory space at home.
Share stories or watch their favourite film.
Include something symbolic in your celebration (a place at the table, a toast, a letter written together).
Start a new tradition that helps you feel close to them.
You may also wish to mark the time differently by doing something quiet, reflective, or completely new.
6. Look After Yourself
Grief is tiring and you may not feel like cooking, socialising, or even getting out of bed some days. Do:
Rest when you can.
Eat regular meals, even if small.
Say no to things that feel too much.
Let others know what you need - or don’t need.
And if you’re parenting, know that you don’t have to be perfect . Be kind to yourself and ask for help.
7. When You Need Extra Help
If you're struggling to cope this holiday period - or are worried about a child - there is support available:
Free national helplines: Many are open over the holidays.
Bereavement counselling: In-person, online, or by phone.
Support groups: For adults, families, and young people.
Faith-based support: If your beliefs are a source of strength.
Use our Grief Support Directory to find help near you.
However you spend this holiday period, know that others are walking a similar path. You are not alone, and your grief matters.
If you or someone you know is grieving, Ataloss.org directs to bereavement support services across the UK. You’ll also find a growing library of resources to help process grief, whatever the circumstances and whoever has died.
If you or someone you know needs support now, visit our Helplines page for immediate support options.
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